Uruz-Auroch-Wild-Determination

While I was riding into town the other day, I closed my eyes and tilted my head up to the window to feel the sun full on my face. I was then given a vision of a pile of plain gray river stones all gathered in a pile and on top of that pile was a stone painted with a green rune:

I wasn't sure what to give in offering to Uruz. From what I've read blood is powerful but binding and sometimes too strong especially when just starting out. Finally, I gave milk. I coated the rune in breastmilk, taking care to rub some into the carved rune. That done, I held it loosely. It might have been my own pulse thrumming hard in my hands that I felt, strong and rhythmic as a shaman's drum. I closed my eyes.

I saw a herd of wild cattle with majestic horns. Dark brown fur and large liquid black eyes all around. My eyesight was strange. I had a hard time focusing in front of me. I turned my head and felt weight that was more than my own. I was one of them grazing on a grassy field bordered by mountains not much different than those that rest on the horizon of my home in Alaska.
My hackles rise and something, a scent in the breeze. I turn to see a young one fall to two hungry, lean wolves. The herd moves. We turn as one like a river of fur and deadly horn and hooves. The wolves are trampled. We lost one of ours but the enemy has been dealt with, for now.

I breathe.
The vision changes.

I stand on two feet now, looking at the pile of river stones I saw before when Uruz first came to me. I hear water flowing and see a stream ahead formed from a spring in a wall of rock. I begin to climb that wall. My hands, large and calloused - a man's hands - reach fro a hold in the craggy face of the rock. The sun is hot and I can feel sweat running down my face and back. Round my neck is a necklace made from hemp? horse hair? and beads made from bits of stone and glass. My tunic, the yellow dye faded from wear, clings to my back and is wet with sweat.
I'm breathing hard as I rest my head on the rock. I know not to look down but dread looking up. I'm half-way there.
The sun is covered by clouds and the breeze is suddenly cold. The sweat on my back and neck chills and I keep climbing.
Finally, as the sun, now low on the horizon, peeks back out, I reach the top. My legs and arms are shaky as I collapse on grass. Breathing in deep I smell my own sweat, grass, earth.
I grin, feeling accomplished as I look up into faded blue sky. I run a hand over my face, feeling the beginnings of a beard. Turning my head I see the wild cattle, one looking over me with gentle curiosity and a glimmer of "Do you see now?"
I see.

30 Days of Devotion Day 1 Frigga

FRIXX by deWitte

Today is Day 1 of the 30 Days of Devotion I am doing for My Lady, Frigga. While today is supposed to be a basic introduction, most of what I could say about Frigga that is "basic" I will be thoroughly covering in later days.
She is the Queen of Asgard, wife of the All-Father and therefore the All-Mother.
She is the lady of the hearth, mother goddess to some, regal lady and keeper of the keys to the hall to others. Silent seer, mourning mother, spinner of wyrd.
I see Frigga as a regal lady at her spinning or talking among her handmaidens to keep order among the high worlds and Midgard. When she wants to be she can be soft and tender to those that come to her, especially towards children. I have seen her caress my son's hair and felt her wrap me in the quilt of her comforting love.
I have also seen her be calculating, demanding, and strict. I would not want to raise her anger.
It is my hope that in the next 30 days I can give a glimpse of the Goddess I adore to those that look to find her face or to see her hands at work.

Resources

Northern Pagan Tradition Shrine to Frigga

Pagan Veiling Mention and Resources

Wanted to share a recent blog post from Danie at Primordial Willow on Pagan Veiling.

Danie has been a Veiling Pagan for several years and has graciously created a great resource list for us in light of the topic being stirred up recently. I was surprised to see my own Pinterest board on Pagan Veiling mentioned and linked here.

I also wrote a blog post over on my professional site about my thoughts on the recent Burkini controversy and its connections to public breastfeeding in the whole world of body autonomy and women's rights. The majority of the post is very pointed images and a discussion I had with some well-meaning but misguided liberal feminists desiring to save brainwashed women from oppression by belittling them.

Heathen Community, Race, and Gender Constructs

The notorious AFA is at it again...

When I initially read this post on a friend Lee's feed (note, my friend shared an article that spoke out against racism in the Heathen community and this was the picture that showed up in the share that I reacted to) I wasn't sure what to say only that I was reeling from the bs I read.
Someone who is also friends with Lee replied to my response asking if I was "Triggered?" then "Why? Do you equate pride in one's heritage to be racist? Or only when white people do it?"
Before I comment on the topic of racism I want to share the last part of our conversation on Lee's feed:

Me Also, I'd like to add that MY statements had nothing initially to do with race, Dennis, yours did. What triggered me, in fact, was the statement about gender more than race. I find it interesting how triggered you seem. Not to try a stir things up but I did want to make it clear that i found this particular part of the commentary interesting.
Dennis There was a statement of gender in this particular discussion? I missed that. I thought this whole thread was about race. What did I miss?
Me "The AFA believe that gender is not a social construct" is a statement in the picture I commented on and the statement goes on. This was what I was initially responding to.
Lee Perfect example of such confusion. Thank you December for reflecting publicly on that piece - folks have been really embedded here in the discussion on race and racism, while you highlight that the AFA has *so* much more wrong going on.
Hugs.
Dennis I think this is totally a "Can't see the forest for the trees" moment. We got caught up so much with the racial aspect we totally missed the rest of the bullshit.

Now, I want to say that I do not think that Dennis was trolling me at all. I believe he was pushing me to respond intelligently and thoughtfully to my emotional response to the image above (or, as I'm sure now, to the article that was attached to the image which I had not read). This all happened last night and I have had some time to consider the entirety over some coffee and lack of sleep (my son still has a fever as I wrote about in my post about Ullr and we're still coping).

A Brief Note on Race and Heathen Community

I want to preface this commentary with I am NOT Folk Tradition Heathen. When I must label my belief system I say Northern Tradition Polytheist as this releases me from the ideas of Lore-based and those assumptions people have of the "Heathen" term. I am also a white American female and cannot pretend that this upbringing has not effected my thoughts when it comes to this topic. I speak from this standpoint and do not claim to understand every point of view in this discussion including the point of view of people of color that are Heathen.
I also want to note that I do not know my cultural background. I am working on my genealogy as part of my ancestor work but there is a lot missing and I cannot say if there is any connection to Northern Europe at all in my bloodline.

With those caveats, I do not believe that race or skin color (note the distinction) should have anything at all to do with religious beliefs. If someone who is white or black, Asian or German or Icelandic in descent is called by the Norse Gods, who am I to say they are the wrong choice? Who are we to question the Gods?
I was asked if I had a problem with people honoring their white ancestors. No.
Honoring the ancestors should not be stigmatized by skin color.
Here again, I want to differentiate between Race and Skin Color. Race, to me, has to do with the cultures and tribes we come from and this did not have to do with skin color for our ancestors. This focus on Race and Not Skin Color can be seen in America during the NINA (No Irish Need Apply) laws and the discrimination against any Immigrants including European ones the disdain for Jews in America even after WWII. These people were not discriminated against regarding the mellanin in their skin but their Race.

Honoring the ancestors does not equate to a specific religion or group of Deities or community.
Many people of many race, skin color, and religion honor their ancestors so I don't see how it can be a matter of debate and how it can be considered discriminatory to honor your ancestors within your religious community.

Now, for a religion community to focus on and revere a group for their skin color above people of other skin colors - this is where things get discriminatory and hinky. I do see how people can be upset about the above picture focusing on the "white children" within Heathenry and be upset, especially given our political atmosphere right now.
Yes, White children are Beautiful as are Black children and Asian children and Latinx children. The focus on white families and children or any specific skin color within a religious group is, in my opinion, inappropriate and counter-productive.

Heathens, Pagans, and Gender Constructs

So here is where I was initially focused when it comes to the image above.

"The AFA would like to make it clear that we believe gender is not a social construct, it is a beautiful gift from the holy powers and from our ancestors. The AFA celebrates our feminine ladies, our masculine gentlemen..."

This is what I took issue with.
Do these people even read the stories regarding the Gods they supposedly serve?

Loki (note not the most popular among many Heathens who regard this mischievous God as a sort of Norse Satan and I know some will be like "well of course thats just Loki) crosses the gender boundary by becoming a mare and giving birth to Sleipnir.
Odin himself also crosses the gender barrier when he practices the craft of seidr which is the realm of women and is called out for it in Lokasenna and does not deny it. Here is the King of the Gods, the All-Father, who has no issues with femininity or becoming a woman for a time in order to gain knowledge.

If not the gods then perhaps they hold to Heathenry for its past culture and history, in which I feel they are still ignorant.
What of the women in the battle fields who were described using some of the same adjectives men were described with such as dregilingr.
Many look at the lore and point out that for a man to be called womanly or feminine was an insult while others point out that these conversations were written by Christians after the fact and thus colored by Christians Patriarchal temperament. I cannot say who is right here only that I question a community who holds this, rather than the religious aspects of their community as the mark of how to behave. Do Heathen women that hold to the AFA's attitude view being feminine and a woman to be lowly? If not, then why condone that mentality and encourage this mind-set.
One can also bring on the conversation of why do so many within the Heathen culture promote this concept of a masculine, warrior woman but down play the effeminate wives and mothers of the home? That's a conversation for another day...

Why Does It Matter?

Some ask why bother responding to drivel like that spewed by the AFA? Why not just ignore it so it will go away much like the statement of "don't feed the rolls"?

1) I personally think its important as a Pagan, Polytheist, and follower of Norse traditions to state that the AFA, Heathen Women, and similar groups who promote prejudice and ignorance do not have beliefs embraced by all of us. I think its important to say this so that people drawn in by our gods don't fear these traditions because of hate speech in the minority.
2) We should always be questioning and challenging ourselves to be better and worthy of our Gods and Ancestors. How else can we do that if we are unwilling to respond to potential catalysts for growth?
We are "Future Ancestors" and our actions and words should strengthen our religions and traditions for our children.

Meeting Ullr

My son is running a fever. I believe its in connection to teething as he might be getting one of his eye teeth (K9 teeth) earlier than expected and they "stomach teeth" as my family calls them, tend to be the most problematic with teething symptoms such as fevers and diarrhea. I share this because I am stressed out about it. My son, other than the little bit of colic during his first weeks, hasn't been sick and I'm always wondering if this is a bad thing for his immune system. Now that he has a fever I'm blending my natural remedies with allopathic medicines my relatives press upon me along with prayer and energy healing.
I've asked Frigga for aid as she is not only My Lady but also the Goddess of mothers and children. I go to her for this sort of thing rather than Eir who I see more as the healer of wounds and the nurse at the battle field.
When I went to Frigga she gave me comfort and my son but also said that I should not worry, that he was protected. I assumed she meant by her.
When I came back down from Fensalir, I meditated while nursing my son and allowed myself to journey to my own astral spaces where I can keep calm, tether myself when journeying, etc. In one of these spaces in an anchor I created when I was pregnant for a shield for my son. Here I can tend to his shielding and care and it is usually a smallish, dark space dominated by the egg that is my son and his shield for his energy body.
I was stunned when I entered this space to find my darling egg was not alone. I do not even allow my husband here. This place is sacred and, to me, like a womb. To find someone within was startling and put me in a predatory, protective mind-set I don't know that I've felt before.

There, beside my son was a man kneeling. He held onto a pole like a staff only thin, and was dressed in furs. Over his long, wind-swept, dark hair he wore a cap and I could not readily make out a face through his dark beard.
I know I said something along the lines of "how dare you be here" and demanded he tell me who he is and what he wanted while at the same time determined to make him leave. When he looked up I knew he wasn't human. I wondered a moment if he was Odin, my husband's Patron deity, who I would have understood somewhat being present as my husband too is worried about our son.
I knew, as soon as I had the thought, however, that I was wrong.
The God grew and grew. His hands were massive and he stood so tall I had to crane my head back to see him. I asked again, frightened this time, who he was.
Ullr
He then turned and left.
Shaken I tended to my son and wondered where I had heard the name before.

Boksta Runestone

My research on Ullr came up successful in that he does exist and others work with him but scant as to why on hearth he would be watching over my son.
Ullr is the god most known for skiing and archery as well as winter.
Some believe, due to archaeological finds and traces, that Ullr might actually be older than the gods. It is likely that his "mask" or aspect that we know of now is one developed over time and he has evolved from something much more primal such as a god of winter, darkness, even death.
While lore says he is the son of Sif and could have connections to Thor, Egill, and Svipdag, others feel these might be the faint reachings of Christians trying to place a God they otherwise can't wrap around.
He is also a god of oaths and his oaths are ones made over rings.

None of the above explains a connection to my son who is Autumn-born and too young for winter activities much less hunting. I then wondered if he was there to speak to me as I am both a child of winter and an amateur archer married to an adept hunting archer and my protective instinct warded him off before we could connect.
I do intend to attempt a connection again when I have more energy. For now I am recuperating after little sleep and much stressing over my wee one.

Ullr's Shrine

Divine Sex: Intimacy with Gods

This is a topic that I've avoided, struggled with, and hid away for a while now. I kept quiet about it because I know full well the majority of the people I know, even the Pagans, Heathens, and Witches that I associate with, will think I am crazy or desperately seeking attention. I know this because I've seen how the community response to others who have said "I have/have had sex with a god." I've seen them called attention-seekers, drama queens, wanting to look special, and "crazy as shithouse rats" (that last one was the most recent statement within the local Heathen community regarding godspouses).

So here I am, dealing with my insecurities and writing despite being outright uncomfortable. Why am I putting myself through this?
As with most of what I write whether its on religion, parenting, or even my works of fiction - I write because this is what I have looked for in the past. I sought out information about those who have relations with the gods and, thanks to my dear friend Lee Harrington, was pointed in the right direction. I read voraciously but I didn't find any resources detailing exactly what I was going through. So I returned to the advice I was given in writing class - write what you want to read.

Cupid & Psyche by Rodin

My first intimate experience with a god was in 2012. I was in a phase of wanting to "collect" attunements. This sometimes happens with people after they receive their first attunement (for me it was in Reiki) and they become almost addicted to the feeling. I then got attuned to Sekhem, then Sekhmet Sekhem, etc. During this collection I was offered a free Anubis Energy Attunement. I accepted it without a moment's hesitation.
At the time I worked predominantly in the nude before a candle-lit altar (all mystical sounding of course...I was dramatic then). I had a very strong experience with the attunement in which I was sitting before Anpu who was holding me by the shoulders while Dehuti (Thoth) was behind me tattooing symbols into my back with a stylus. After the attunement was finished, I felt buzzy and tired at the same time but nothing was abnormal. I grounded, ate some dinner with my husband, and went to bed.
That night I was visited by Anpu who was forceful and intimate. While I wasn't asked for consent, I didn't feel violated, only overwhelmed by the whole experience. When I woke, I was dazed. I told my husband and searched online for other who had the experience - found nothing. The few people I asked about it assumed it was "just a dream" and probably meant to be taken symbolically. Others said that it probably meant that Anpu was my patron deity and meant to work with. Neither of these explanations felt true to me. I felt alone and a little crazy.

My path winded down the spiral and my beliefs shifted and transformed. I became a handmaiden of Frigga who I turn to when I have questions now. While my first experience wasn't forgotten, it became like many things that have happened to me in my religious life - an entry in my book of shadows to contemplate if/when I needed to.

Mani by V.E. Hardy

Then I asked Frigga about the moon. I wanted to write for a publication regarding the moon, specifically about how some cultures view the moon as masculine and others see it as feminine. Like many of the Norse gods, there wasn't much written on the moon god Mani and so I went to Frigga.
Frigga sat spinning the ancient runes and magic into the life of Midgard, smiling knowingly at me with a nod as I asked her. She then sent me, with few words, to Mani himself.

When I went to him, he was very gentle and very affectionate. This became my second encounter with a god that was sexual without any warning or intention on my part.
With Anpu I had been...for lack of better phrasing...rode hard and put up wet. I woke groggy and felt unnerved. With Mani it was completely different. I slept soundly and woke rested and could still feel his gentle caress on my neck and face.
However, after all was said and done, I felt both enlightened and confused.

My husband offered an explanation - that by being intimate with me, he was fully sharing himself so that I could have a better idea of who he was than any conversation or reading could give me - that this was a way the gods can convey information and teachings.
I think this makes sense but also find it strange that even though I am bisexual, I've only ever had these experiences with masculine deities.

I emailed modern polytheist expert Galina Krasskova about my questions. I was nervous about emailing someone I didn't know and look up to as a pagan and author but I felt like if I was going to ask someone, it was best to ask someone who knew what they were talking about.

My biggest question was about the fact that in both cases of this happening to me, I didn't get any sort of consent question before hand or really any warning. Was this just the gods taking what they wanted or felt they deserved as gods?
Galina answered very succinctly:
"Consent is given, imo, when you approach the Gods. it's not like you're going to a frat party after al where a higher, holy Power is expected to ask at each step if this is ok. It doesn't work that way. had you said "Stop" I suspect Mani would have done."
This felt very true and made sense to me. I was glad I asked.

30 Days of Deity

I saw this on Galina Krasskova's Blog, which she got from Felix Culpa's Tumbler and I wanted to share here. I intend to do this for Frigga and will be contemplating my answers until Sept 1 when I put up my first post. I thought about waiting until December or January but I wanted to do this now and might revisit the meme again for one of Frigga's handmaidens or another god/dess later on.

1. A basic introduction of the deity
2. How did you become first aware of this deity?
3. Symbols and icons of this deity
4. A favorite myth or myths of this deity
5. Members of the family – genealogical connections
6. Other related deities and entities associated with this deity
7. Names and epithets
8. Variations on this deity (aspects, regional forms, etc.)
9. Common mistakes about this deity
10. Offerings – historical and UPG
11. Festivals, days, and times sacred to this deity
12. Places associated with this deity and their worship
13. What modern cultural issues are closest to this deity’s heart?
14. Has worship of this deity changed in modern times?
15. Any mundane practices that are associated with this deity?
16. How do you think this deity represents the values of their pantheon and cultural origins?
17. How does this deity relate to other gods and other pantheons?
18. How does this deity stand in terms of gender and sexuality? (historical and/or UPG)
19. What quality or qualities of this god do you most admire? What quality or qualities of them do you find the most troubling?
20. Art that reminds you of this deity
21. Music that makes you think of this deity
22. A quote, a poem, or piece of writing that you think this deity resonates strongly with
23. Your own composition – a piece of writing about or for this deity
24. A time when this deity has helped you
25. A time when this deity has refused to help
26. How has your relationship with this deity changed over time?
27. Worst misconception about this deity that you have encountered
28. Something you wish you knew about this deity but don’t currently
29. Any interesting or unusual UPG to share?
30. Any suggestions for others just starting to learn about this deity?